


(uno reverse card)

by petalprose



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: F/M, Good Omens Rom Com Event, Just My Luck AU, Post-Apocalypse, anathema's no good very bad day, newt's actually decent rather okay day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petalprose/pseuds/petalprose
Summary: Anathema Device, being professional descendant to a real, actual witch (along with being a real, actual witch herself) has made a friend of fortune most of her life. Knowing by heart each and every word of the one book that could accurately predict the future tended to help with that.Newton Pulsifer, being unwitting descendant to a man who orchestrated the murder of a real, actual witch, goes through each day being overly cautious with the technology around him lest it meet an abrupt demise. He's gotten used to the misfortune, but that doesn't mean he hasn't gotten sick of it.So when Anathema gets her clothes soaked in mud twice in one day and Newt manages tonotmurder his mother's coffee machine, they figure something is up.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11
Collections: Good Omens Rom Com Event





	(uno reverse card)

It is 5:57 in the morning. In Jasmine Cottage’s quaint little kitchen, the curtains are pulled to the sides to allow the first rays of sunshine to filter in.

Anathema, currently sitting on the table, is nursing her second mug of coffee, waiting for it to cool enough for her to comfortably drink it. This is not her second mug by virtue of her having already finished drinking her first; no, this is her second mug by virtue of the fact that she had poured two teaspoons of salt into her coffee instead of sugar and had paid the price.

She is plagued by a sense of foreboding. And also by the fear that the table will somehow give out under her.

Now, accidentally switching her sugar for salt would not in and of itself be alarming to her. She’s had an honestly wild week. Armageddon pulling a ding-dong-dash could mess anyone up. But when she’d gone to make herself some toast, her toaster had proceeded to give up sparks and subsequently give up on life.

It was the second toaster she’d had since moving into the cottage. Newt had completely killed the first one when he’d left the afternoon before. He’d given her a chaste, shy kiss to her cheek before he’d gone; he was going to pay his mother a visit, talk to her about the new girl he’d met, how he was looking to find work in Tadfield to stay closer to Anathema. (Anathema had done a similar thing with her own mother over a video call that morning: talking about the thwarted Armageddon, how the Antichrist was actually a nice enough kid, and introducing her to Newt. That had been an interesting conversation. Afterward, she’d offered the use of her laptop to Newt, but he’d gone wide-eyed and declined.)

It should be noted that Anathema, being the professional descendant to a real, actual witch, has made a friend of fortune most of her life. If ill will or misfortune ever did come her way, she was smart enough to keep her cool. Notably, she decidedly had _not_ kept her cool when she'd lost _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch._ She will justify this with the argument that it had been in her family for generations, and at the onset of Armageddon she'd _lost the one thing that could tell her how to stop it._ That could mess anyone up. Anyway, the point is, Anathema tended to meet more with fortune than with misfortune. Happy accidents, rather than the unhappy kind. Sugar in her coffee instead of _salt._

She takes a sip of her coffee. It is too sweet. She looks down at it in dismay.

* * *

Newton Pulsifer, on the other hand, had been dealt a truly god-awful card when it came to interacting with anything even remotely resembling a computer. Sometimes it had even extended beyond that and affected things such payphones, television remotes, and—on one memorable occasion—a light switch. One could perhaps trace the misfortune trailing after him like a particularly attached lost puppy to his ancestor orchestrating the murder of a very powerful witch.

It had led to Thou-Shalt-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifer's own demise, of course, but who was to say that laying a curse upon the men of his bloodline was not a little parting gift the witch had given?

(One might consider such an act to be a tad overkill. _Kind of_ _extra,_ even. However, one has most likely not had to look into the future and see one's descendant engage in a rather explicit activity with the descendant of one's murderer, so one is advised to kindly _shutteth the hell up._ )

Which brings us to Newt, looking down at a perfectly normal coffee machine, a comical look of awe on his face. The cause for his awe is as such: it had not sputtered, or stalled, or sparked the moment he laid eyes on it. In fact, it had functioned exactly as it should, and soon enough he has a nice, hot mug of black coffee, just waiting for milk to be poured into it.

He would have brushed it off had it just been the coffee machine, but for dinner, he had ordered takeout on the restaurant’s app, on a phone, and the battery hadn’t died. The phone hadn’t malfunctioned at all. Absolutely nothing bad happened, except that the order had gone through successfully and he had successfully ordered food for dinner on a cellphone and _oh, God, he didn't even need to replace the phone._ Would the wonders of the world post-Armageddon ever cease?

Emboldened and disproportionately overjoyed by the success of his phone usage and coffee production, he resolves to call Anathema first thing in the morning. Hey, the universe cutting him some slack would be an exciting enough thing to phone her for, wouldn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> short prologue. next episode anathema gets caught in a sudden storm and newt's good fortune escalates similarly. today my cat gave birth and i nearly burst into tears twice. have a good day <3!


End file.
